


Memories: The Good, The Bad, and the Downright Ugly

by fandomgurl77



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: AAARRGHHH!!!, Anger, Animals, Child Abuse, Ehehe, Flashbacks, Gen, Homework, Memories, Mr. Barrow Sr. is a prick, Multi, Nightmare Fuel, OHHH, Ouch, Period-Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Homophobia, Punishment, Rated M Just To Be Safe, Sad, Screaming, This may take a while, Threats, WHY!?, Why?, aaahhh!, an idea i've had for a while, and an ass, artistic license on some of the names, bad memories, har har!, i feel like i've burst my brain, i hate this, i just want to punch the screen, i need more reference infomation, i'm sad wah wah, kicked out, oh my, or probably, ow my head, poor Barrow, possibly, shouting, steam coming out of my ears, that keeps bugging me, waiting to be written, what have you done thomas?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:46:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25241116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomgurl77/pseuds/fandomgurl77
Summary: It is August 1928 and Thomas Barrow experiences his childhood again through a series of flashbacks.Some of these memories are good; others are just plain scary.Rated M for violence and swearing.More tags/warnings may be added as the story progresses.Artistic license has been used for some of the character's names and slang - if you don't like it then don't read or comment.
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The flashback parts throughout the story are in italics; the parts in normal text represent the present.

He had a rather ordinary childhood and family life until he’d turned 13, when his father shunned and finally booted him out of the house four long and agonising years later, just for being different.

Now at age 38, Barrow is re-living it again through a series of flashbacks, the first of which began as soon as he’d closed his eyes after a long day…

**_1 st October_ **

**_1897_ **

**_3:00 p.m._ **

_‘And that concludes today’s lessons, class’, Ms. Worthington said as she opened the door of the classroom before the students began exiting, ‘Don’t forget your assignments for Monday.’_

_‘Oh yes, the short paper’, seven-year old Thomas Barrow said as he pushed his chair in before heading to the door and thinking,_ ‘I know _exactly_ what to write about…’

_When he arrived home fifteen minutes later, his mother, Sharlene, was folding recently dried sheets in front of the fireplace while his father, Samson, was busy downstairs in the shop._

_‘So, how was school today?’, Sharlene asked._

_‘It was good’, Barrow said, ‘Anyway, where’s Matilda?’_

_‘Oh’, Sharlene said, ‘Your sister hasn’t come home yet. She should be back soon though.’_

_As if on cue, the air rang with the sound of familiar footsteps coming up the stairs before Barrow’s 14-year old sister Matilda walked in through the door._

_‘Hey, Mum’, she said while making a beeline for the hall, ‘I’ll be down in a minute, after I put my stuff away.’_

‘Teenagers…’ _Sharlene thought while shaking her head,_ ‘Why can’t they learn some manners?’

_‘So, anyway’, Barrow said, ‘I have a short paper to write for Monday.’_

_‘Sounds good’, Sharlene said, ‘Have you thought about what you want to write about?’_

_‘Yes’, Barrow said, ‘I’ve decided to write about the shop.’_

_‘Sounds like an interesting topic’, Sharlene said, ‘I’ll give you a pen and notepad to write notes then.’_

_‘Thanks, Mum’, Barrow said, ‘I plan to be downstairs for the majority of the day tomorrow observing and taking notes so I can spend Sunday working on the paper.’_

_‘That’s an excellent plan’, Sharlene said, ‘But, for now, you can go and put your bag away and relax.’_


	2. Chapter 2

_At 10:00 a.m. the next morning, Barrow was sitting at a desk behind the counter of the family business,_ Barrow and Co. Clocks & Watches _._

‘Ok’ _, he thought just as the first customer of the day came through the front door,_ ‘This looks pretty easy; I’ll be done in no time.’

_However, just under over half an hour later, there had been no more customers._

‘Why does this have to be so hard!?’ _Barrow thought before putting the pen and notepad on the desk,_ ‘Dare I look at the time?’

_He then slowly turned his head toward the big grandfather clock on the other side of the counter, only to be disappointed by what he saw._

‘Oh, come on!’ _he thought upon looking at the face,_ ‘10:35? Seriously? I feel like I’ve been working for hours here!’

_‘Well, well’, Samson said when he walked in from the back room and noticed his son sitting at the desk in the corner, ‘Why the long face, son?’_

_‘I’m taking notes for an assignment due on Monday’, Barrow said, ‘Why does time move so slowly when you’re working?’_

_‘Hmm…’ Samson said, ‘Perhaps it would be easier if you made it fun for yourself; it will make the time fly by as well. For example, imagine that you’re explaining the daily activities in the shop to a friend at school.’_

_‘Ok, Dad’, Barrow said, ‘I’ll try that.’_

_‘Good’, Samson said just as the door opened, ‘Because here comes the next customer.’_

**Monday…**

****

_‘Ok, class’, Ms. Worthington said while standing in front of the blackboard at the front of the room, ‘Please place your assignments on your desks for me to collect.’_

_‘Yes, Ms. Worthington’, the students said in unison._

_‘I hope I’ve done well enough to get a good mark’, Barrow said._

_‘I hope so too’, his neighbour, Ethan, said as he put his paper down while the teacher walked from desk to desk collecting the papers._

_‘However, Ms. Worthington had something to say about Barrow’s paper that was less than flattering…_

_‘Thomas’, she said, ‘You have seemed to go off topic a bit before the end, again.’_

_‘Oh’, Barrow said disappointedly, ‘Sorry about that.’_

_‘There’s no need to be sorry’, Ms. Worthington said, ‘For the most part, you’ve done an excellent job describing how a small business is run day-to-day; it’s just that you became somewhat over-enthusiastic with talking about the different types of clocks at the end.’_

_‘Thanks, Ms. Worthington’, Barrow said, ‘I’ll remember that for next time.’_

_‘Did you hear that, Ethan?’ Barrow said as Ms. Worthington returned to the front of the room, ‘She liked it!’_

_‘Yes, I sure did’, Ethan said, ‘She gave me a high score too.’_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Graphic depiction of child abuse.

The following night bought another flashback to mind.

‘Blimey’, Barrow said before getting into bed, ‘What a day!’

However, tonight’s flashback wasn’t as happy as the previous night.

**_April 2o_ **

**_1903_ **

**_12:20 p.m._ **

_‘What do you guys want from me?’ 12-year old Barrow asked as he was surrounded by a group of taller, older boys._

_‘You know what we want’, the ringleader, Harold, said, ‘Now, hand the pocket-watch over!’_

_‘Ok-k’, Barrow said nervously out of fear when he gave the golden-coloured object to him._

_‘Ha!’ Harold said in disbelief, ‘You’re pathetic!! Real men don’t carry jewellery around with them!’_

_‘Yeah’, his friend, Ian, said, ‘Only girls do things like that!’_

_‘Ok, ok’, Barrow said, ‘I get it! Now, would you please hand it back?’_

_‘Not until we have had a look inside’, Harold said upon noticing the back cover._

_‘Just a little bit of work here, and…’ he began before the cover opened, revealing a mechanism of interlocking gears, ‘There, we’re in.’_

_‘I’d be careful with that if I were you’, Barrow said, ‘You could easily end up damaging it, if you don’t know what you’re doing…’_

_‘Shut your trap, clock boy!’ Ian said, ‘We’re experts at handling delicate things._

_‘That’s what you said yesterday with the chair that had the wobbly leg, only for it to collapse when Harold sat in it. Oh, and did I mention that the leg became wobbly due to your own **rough handling**??’_

_‘Gee’, Harold said sarcastically, ‘You’re a clever little thing for reminding me of something that I **already knew about in the first place**!!’_

_He then tipped all the gears out of the watch onto the concrete below, leaving Barrow horrified beyond belief._

_‘How could you, guys?’ he said as he picked the pieces up, ‘My father made that watch ‘specially for me, and **you** ruined it!’_

_‘Oh, boo-hoo’, Harold said mockingly, ‘Well then, you can go home and tell “daddy” about what’s happened to it!’_

_It was then that the bell rang, signalling the start of afternoon lessons._

_‘Goodbye, Thomas’, Ian said when he gave him the watch casing back before he and Harold walked away, ‘We’ll see you tomorrow.’_

‘Thank goodness they’re gone’, _Barrow thought as he put the casing and gears into his pocket before setting off to class._

**Later that afternoon…**

_‘Dad’, Barrow said in the back room of the shop before emptying his pocket onto the workbench, ‘Some low-brow thugs did this to the watch you gave me last Christmas.’_

_‘Oh dear’, Samson said in disbelief, ‘I’ll see what I can do between now and dinner for you. In the meantime, you can go upstairs and do whatever you need to do.’_

_Ok’, Barrow said before heading to the stairs at the back of the room, ‘Thanks.’_

_However, what happened after dinner that evening was not what Barrow had expected…_

_‘Thomas’, Samson said when he stood up from the table, ‘I have a surprise for you downstairs.’_

_‘Ok’, Barrow said before following him out of the kitchen._

_He could not believe his eyes when he saw the now fixed watch sitting on the workbench._

_‘I fixed it for you’, Samson said._

_‘Thanks, Dad’, Barrow said when he picked it up, ‘It looks as good as new.’_

_‘Oh…’ Samson said, ‘I almost forgot; there’s something else I want to give you as well.’_

_‘What’s that?’, Barrow asked before he returned with a long, cylindrical object in his hand, ‘Why are you holding a pendulum?’_

_THWACK!!_

_‘Ow!’ Barrow exclaimed while leaning onto the benchtop to stay upright, ‘What was that for!? Blimey, you could’ve broken something!’_

_‘You_ bloody _twit!’ Samson shouted, ‘You knew **too damn well** not to take that watch to school!!’_

_‘I’m sorry!’ Barrow said, ‘I just wanted to show my friends, that’s all.’_

_‘Yes, and you managed to get it **broken into pieces**!!’ Samson shouted before grabbing Barrow by the hair, ‘Not to mention that **you** decided to waste my **and** everyone else’s time by leaving it here for me to repair!!’_

_‘Well’, Barrow said, ‘At least it’s now working perfectly, like I’d **wanted it to**!’_

_‘GET OUT, worthless piece of filth!!’ Samson screamed as he roughly shoved Barrow towards the stairs, ‘And I don’t want to see you FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT!!’_

_‘Ok, ok!’ Barrow said before disappearing up the stairs, ‘There’s no need to shout the place down, is there?’_

Suddenly, Barrow fell out of bed with a thud.

 _‘AAAHHH!’_ he thought upon opening his eyes, _‘Where am I?’_

‘Why, you’re on the floor, Mr. Barrow’, Andy said while standing in the doorway after being woken by the sudden noise, ‘As to _why_ you’re on the floor, I have no idea.’

‘I must’ve fallen out of bed, I think’, Barrow said as he stood up and sat back down on the mattress, ‘Anyway, I’m sorry if I woke you.’

‘Dah, it’s ok’, Andy said, ‘I was lying in bed half-awake anyway.’


	4. Chapter 4

The month of April 1903 was when Barrow realised that he was not like the other boys at school…

****

**_April 17_ **

**_8:05 p.m._ **

****

_‘Thomas’, one of his female classmates, Freida, said in the kitchen of the local hall, ‘Could you please help with putting these trays on the table through the door?’_

_‘Sure’, Barrow said before picking a tray of food up and carrying it out before retuning for another one, ‘This is going to be a great night!’_

_‘I know’, Freida said, ‘I can’t wait to get out onto the floor and begin dancing. How about you?’_

_‘Well’, Barrow said before something caught his attention, ‘I’m not the greatest dancer on the planet, but…’_

_‘Hey, Freida’, her boyfriend, Hamish, said as he walked up to her, ‘It’s time to get ready for our first dance together.’_

_‘You said it, dear’, Freida said before facing Barrow, who was frozen in shock and awe, ‘Thomas? Are you ok?’_

_‘Oh’, Barrow said when he snapped out of his trance, ‘Yes, I’m fine. I might just help out a bit in the kitchen and, you know, with putting drinks and stuff out.’_

_‘Ok then’, Freida said before following Hamish, ‘See you later.’_

‘Yes’ _, Barrow thought,_ ‘I’ll be looking out for you, and that hot boyfriend of yours.’

**_9:30…_ **

_‘Thomas!’ his father said when he spotted him putting the last of the food trays onto the table, ‘ **What** in hell’s name do you think you’re doing??’_

_‘I’ve just finished serving the food’, Barrow said._

_‘Listen here’, Samson said, ‘Why don’t you just get out of the kitchen and join the other boys on the benches? In other words, wait for a girl to dance with you, for crying out loud!’_

‘Ugh’ _, Barrow thought upon hearing this,_ ‘I don’t think so…’

_‘You know what, you’re right’, he said before walking towards the benches, ‘That’s what I’m going to do now.’_

_‘Good’, Samson said before walking out into the foyer to join Sharlene._

_‘Hmm…’ he said when he sat in the chair beside her, ‘Do you ever think…’_

_‘Think what, dear?’ Sharlene asked._

_‘Has it ever occurred to you that…our son…may be…’ Samson replied._

_‘May be what?’ Sharlene asked._

_‘Well, just look at him’, Samson replied, ‘He’s never done any contact sports either at or outside of school, and he shies away from working in the shop with me, preferring instead to help you with chores around the house.’_

_‘Oh’, Sharlene said, ‘That doesn’t mean anything; he just wants to give his mother a helping hand, that’s all.’_

‘Hmmm… _, Samson thought when he looked at the doors leading to the main room of the hall,_ ‘Sometimes I just wonder…if my inkling is correct…’

_Meanwhile, a 15-year old girl named Kaylee slowly approached Barrow while the floor was alive with couples dancing._

_‘Hey there, Thomas’, she said while batting her eyelashes, ‘Would you like to come and dance with me?’_

_Barrow looked at her blankly for a few seconds in response._

‘Why is she doing that thing with her eyelashes?’ _he thought,_ ‘I don’t get it.’

_‘Oh…um, sure’, he said before accepting with a smile, since it was the proper thing to do, ‘Let’s go.’_

**_Ten minutes later…_ **

****

_‘That was smashing, Thomas’, Kaylee said after the music stopped, ‘I’ve never felt that way before.’_

_‘Glad you liked it’, Barrow said ‘It was…extraordinary enough for me to say the least.’_

_‘Anyway’, Kaylee said before disappearing into the crowd, ‘See you around.’_

_‘You too’, Barrow said before ducking through the door beside him and into the restroom._

_‘Ha!’ a voice said before the owner left, ‘You’re awesome! Catch you tomorrow.’_

‘What was that about?’ _Barrow thought before almost crashing into them._

_‘Hey’, they said, ‘Watch where you’re going, pipsqueak!’_

_‘Sorry’, Barrow said, ‘I didn’t see you there.’_

_‘Well, try to be more careful next time, ok?’ the voice said before they disappeared out the door and closed it._

_It was then that Barrow noticed a sad-looking young man looking at his reflection in the mirror._

_‘Hey’, he said when he walked over, ‘Why the sad face?’_

_‘Why…just why?’ the other man, Fredrick, sobbed, ‘Why can’t they see??’_

_‘Why can’t they see what?’ Barrow asked._

_‘You don’t understand, Thomas’, Fredrick replied, ‘I’m not normal!’_

_‘What makes you say that?’ Barrow asked._

_‘It started when I was 11’, Fredrick replied, ‘I developed a crush on my classmate; the only thing was…’_

_‘What?’ Barrow asked, ‘What was it?’_

_‘The thing was…’ Fredrick said before whispering as quietly as possible, ‘My classmate…was a boy.’_

_‘Oh’, Barrow said, completely unfazed by what he’d just heard, ‘Really? That’s it?’_

_‘Yes’, Fredrick said, ‘Now you know who I really am. Just go and make fun of me, I don’t care.’_

_‘No, I won’t’, Barrow said, ‘You deserve much more than that.’_

_‘What makes you say that?’ Fredrick asked._

_‘Let me tell you something’, Barrow said before whispering, ‘I’m just like you in that way as well.’_

_‘What?’ Fredrick asked, completely shocked and dumbfounded at what he’d just heard, ‘Are you for real?’_

_‘Yes’, Barrow said before they shared a quick kiss, ‘I’m so glad I found you.’_

_‘I can’t believe it!’ Fredrick said before he realised something, ‘But…’_

_‘But what?’ Barrow asked._

_‘Doing this…’ Fredrick whispered, ‘It’s illegal.’_

_‘What?’ Barrow asked, ‘How can this be?’_

_‘I don’t know’, Fredrick whispered, ‘I just picked up the morning paper off the kitchen table one day and read the front page article, which was about a so-called “underground” club that had been recently raided by police with several arrests made; I was both horrified and terrified about how my life would turn out.’_

_‘I would be as well, now that you mention it’, Barrow said before whispering, ‘And to make matters worse, dad hates people like us to the core; if he_ ever _finds out that I am one of them…’_

_‘Well’, Fredrick whispered, ‘At least we can keep it secret; you know, between you and me.’_

_‘Yes’, Barrow whispered._

_‘I just wish we could dance together out there’, Fredrick whispered._

_‘Well, we can’t’, Barrow whispered, ‘Someone would see and report us immediately, and then all hell would break loose…’_

_‘I know’, Fredrick whispered, ‘I wish that things were different; that we were treated the same way as everyone else.’_

_Suddenly, there was the sound of familiar sounding footsteps coming towards the door._

_‘It’s dad!’ Barrow whispered in desperation, Quick, act natural!’_

_‘Ok’, Fredrick said before letting go of Barrow’s hand and walking over to the sink just before the door opened._

_‘Thomas!’, Samson said, ‘What are you doing in here?’_

_‘Nothing’, Barrow said, ‘Just having a breather, that’s all.’_

_‘Well, you don’t need to spend it in the restroom now, do you?’ Samson asked ‘Look, why don’t you come out for a bite to eat and a drink?’_

_‘That sounds good’, Barrow said, ‘I’ll be right out there.’_

_‘Ok’, Samson said before he left and closed the door._

_After he had left, Barrow faced Fredrick._

_‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Fredrick’, Barrow said._

_‘Ok’, Fredrick said, ‘I’ll be looking out for you.’_

_‘Goodnight’, Barrow said before he left the room._

_‘You too’, Fredrick said._


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Graphic depiction of child abuse.

The next flash back occurred after lunch a couple of days later, when Barrow was alone in his quarters...

**_July 30_ **

**_1906_ **

**_4:30 p.m._ **

****

_Suddenly, the air rang with the sound of glass breaking._

_‘You_ bloody _dirtbag!!!’_ _Samson screamed at his 15-year old son as he roughly shoved him against the wall, ‘I **knew** you were different to the other boys!!!’_

_‘We’re just friends, Fredrick and me’, Barrow said, ‘It’s not what you think!’_

_‘Shut up, pathetic pile of trash!!’ Samson screamed, ‘I_ know _what you both are; nothing but a pair of…’_

_‘Excuse me’, a customer said on the other side of the counter, ‘I’ve got a question regarding my watch.’_

_‘Sure’, Samson said before giving his son an_ “I’ll be back” _look and heading out the door._

**_A few minutes later…_ **

****

_‘Now’, Samson said, ‘Where were we?’_

_‘Well, you were going to say something about me and Fredrick before you were interrupted’, Barrow said before thinking,_ ‘Thank goodness.’

_‘Oh, that’s right’, Samson said, ‘You’re nothing but a raving…’_

_DING! DING!_

_‘Oh, it’s 5:00’, Barrow said as the grandfather clock in the front of the shop chimed five times, ‘Time to shut up for the day.’_

_‘Fine’, Samson said, ‘I’ll do it.’_

_‘Phew’, Barrow said._

_‘BUT…’ Samson said suddenly in a loud voice, causing Barrow to nearly lose balance, ‘That STILL doesn’t make you any less…’_

_‘Hey, dad’, Matilda said when she descended the stairs, ‘What’s for dinner?’_

_‘Oh, for crying out fucking loud!!’ Samson said, ‘How the fucking hell would I know?’ I don’t care if it’s peas and corn from a can! Just tell mum to put any shit that she can find in the pantry on the stove.’_

_‘Ok, ok’, Matilda said before thinking,_ ‘Sheesh. You don’t have to swear like a baboon.’

_‘Anyway’, Samson said when she had disappeared upstairs and closed the door before shoving Barrow into the wall again, ‘You two? Snogging in the bathroom!!? I could have you **reported** and **arrested** for such vile behaviour!!!’_

_‘How did you know that though?’ Barrow asked, ‘Who told you?’_

_‘NO-ONE TOLD ME!!’ Samson screamed, ‘I just know; there was nothing but **filth** going down in there that night…my own son…covered with FILTH!!’_

_‘I…I honestly don’t know what to say’, Barrow said, looking utterly defeated._

_‘Well, you can start by promising to **NEVER** do **or** speak of this to **anyone** again!!!’ Samson shouted, ‘Because if I catch you breaking the rules, you’ll be thrown out ONTO THE STREETS!!!’_


	6. Chapter 6

After a quick bathroom break, Barrow returned to his bedroom, where the flashback continued…

_Approximately half an hour after dinner, Samson called Sharlene into his bedroom._

_‘Sharlene, I want to have a word with you’, he said._

_‘Ok’, Sharlene said as she followed him into the room and closed the door, ‘What is it?’_

_‘Remember that night three years ago at the hall?’ Samson asked._

_‘Oh, you mean the dance?’ Sharlene asked, ‘Yes, why?’_

_‘Well’, Samson replied, ‘Regarding that night…’_

_Meanwhile, Barrow had just completed a worksheet for school the next day when he thought he’d heard voices outside._

_‘Hello?’ he asked when he opened the door, ‘Is anyone there?’_

_However, there was no response._

‘That’s weird’ _, he thought when he walked out into the hall,_ ‘I could’ve sworn that I’d heard something.’

_Indeed, the house had become a lot quieter in the evenings, since Matilda had left for Blackpool the previous year, where she’d met a charming fellow; a letter had come recently stating that they were getting married by Christmas._

‘Oh, that’s right’ _, Barrow thought when he realised that his sister was no longer living there before sighing sadly,_ ‘I guess it’s just me now.’

_Suddenly, he heard something coming from behind Samson’s door._

‘What the heck was that?’ _he thought as he raced up the hall to investigate,_ ‘I _knew_ I’d heard voices!’

_He the put his ear up against the door so he could hear what was being said more clearly._

_‘…this’, Samson said on the other side of the door, ‘This has gone on for long enough!’_

_‘What do you mean?’ Sharlene asked._

_‘I…I just can’t believe it!’ Samson replied, ‘How did I never notice it before?’_

_‘Notice what?’ Sharlene asked._

_‘Ok’, Samson said, ‘What I’m going to tell you may come as a shock, as it did to me.’_

_‘Ok’, Sharlene said, ‘I’m ready.’_

_‘Well’, Samson said, ‘During the events of that night…I found our son in the restroom…with **another boy!** ’_

‘Dear me…’ _a horrified_ _Barrow thought,_ ‘They’re talking about the events of that night!’

_‘Good heavens!’ Sharlene said in shock and disbelief, ‘I can’t believe it!’_

_‘Me neither’, Samson said, ‘But, it gets worse…’_

_‘In what way?’ Sharlene asked, ‘How could it have possibly been any worse than what you’ve just said?’_

_‘I didn’t know what to do at the time, it was so horrific’, Samson said, ‘I could easily tell…that they’d been kissing in there.’_

_‘Bloody hell!’ Sharlene shrieked, ‘Fuck!’_

_‘Yes’, Samson said, ‘It’s an utter tragedy that things had to turn out this way; our son…once a happy-go-lucky child, has turned out to be a…’_

‘What??’ _a horrified_ _Barrow thought upon hearing the word,_ ‘I can’t believe it!’

_However, his horror quickly turned into disbelief, anger and sadness when his father said an array of degrading slurs before walking to the door._

_‘Well, there you have it’, he said as he turned the knob, ‘Unbelievable, isn’t it?’_

_‘Yes’, Sharlene said, ‘I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep tonight after hearing this.’_

_‘Me neither’, Samson said when he opened the door, ‘But, I’ll try to.’_

_As soon as he had said this, he turned to walk down the hall, only to see Barrow standing in front of him._

_‘Hey, dad’, Barrow said._

_‘Hey Thomas’, Samson said while giving him a look of utter disgust before walking down the hall, ‘Goodnight.’_

_After he’d closed the lounge door, Barrow walked into his mother, who was still in shock and completely devastated._

_‘Mum’, Barrow said upon closing the door, ‘What’s wrong?’_

_‘Oh’, Sharlene sobbed, ‘It’s nothing, really.’_

_‘You know that I heard it all through the door, right?’ Barrow asked._

_‘Yes, I…’ Sharlene began before realising what had just been said, ‘Wait a minute, what?’_

_‘Yes’, Barrow said, ‘I heard every last word that was uttered in here.’_

_‘I just can’t believe it, son’, Sharlene sobbed, ‘You’re…’_

_‘Ok, ok’, Barrow said, ‘I don’t think we need to say it again.’_

_‘No, no’, Sharlene said, ‘You don’t understand.’_

_‘Huh?’ a confused Barrow said, ‘But, you have every right to report me for what I did.’_

_‘Well, I’m not’, Sharlene said, ‘To hell with your father and the police, you’re my son, and I’ll always love you for who you are.’_

_‘Really?’ Barrow asked, ‘But what about the things you said to dad before he left?’_

_‘Oh, that was just for show’, Sharlene replied, ‘I didn’t mean any of it; I just wanted to convince him that I have the same opinions and views as he does.’_

_‘But’, Barrow said, ‘The tears.’_

_‘It wasn’t the realisation that you’re…well, let’s just say, “different”, that bought me to tears’, Sharlene said, ‘Rather, it was the words that he used to describe you.’_

_‘I know’, Barrow said, ‘I’ve never heard such horrible, hateful language from him before.’_

_'Anyway', Sharlene said, 'Just remember that you'll always be safe here with me, no matter what happens.'_

_'Thanks, mum', Barrow said._


	7. Chapter 7

The flashbacks over the next few nights were particularly unsettling…

**_October 21 st_ **

**_1906_ **

**_10:30 p.m._ **

****

****

****

‘Not again!’ _Barrow thought when he heard familiar scratching on the floor in his bedroom._

_He got out of bed and turned his bedside table lantern on to illuminate the darkness, revealing a large brown rat feasting on crumbs on the floor._

'Thank goodness they’re asleep’ _, Barrow thought before walking over to the rat, which quickly scurried into the corner._

_‘No, no’, he whispered, ‘There’s no need to be frightened; I won’t hurt you.’_

_In response, the rat slowly and nervously emerged from the darkness and into the light._

_‘Hey there, little fellow’, Barrow said, ‘Where did you come from?’_

_The rat squeaked in response._

_‘Anyway, I’m Thomas Barrow’, Barrow said, ‘Hmm…I think I might name you Herman.’_

_Herman emitted another squeak in agreement._

_‘Now, Herman’, Barrow said, ‘It’s very important that my folks don’t see you anywhere in the house; mum is terrified of rats and mice and dad will do anything to exterminate you.’ Understand?’_

_Herman nodded for a brief moment as if saying “I understand.”’_

_‘Good’, Barrow said, ‘Now, hurry along and be quiet, for I need to go back to bed.’_

_After lunch the following afternoon, Barrow noticed Herman climb one of the legs of the dining table and make a beeline for a piece of stale bread on the saucer in the centre._

_‘Let me get that for you’, Barrow said upon noticing the rat struggling to move it, ‘Come on, let’s go back into the bedroom.’_

_He then picked Herman and the piece of bread up, put them into his pocket and headed towards the hall._

_However, before he could open the door, his mother called him from the kitchen._

_‘Thomas’, Sharlene said, ‘Could you please bring the plate on the table into the kitchen to be washed?’_

_‘Ok, mum’, Barrow said before walking to the table._

_‘That’s funny’, Sharlene said when she noticed that the piece of bread was gone, ‘I was sure that there was some leftover bread on here.’_

_‘Um…yes, there was’, Barrow said, ‘Since no-one else wanted it, I decided to eat it.’_

_‘I see’, Sharlene said, ‘Well, thanks for bringing the plate in anyway.’_

_No problem, Mum’, Barrow said before proceeding to disappear up the hall, ‘See you later.’_

_‘Right’, he said upon closing the door to the bedroom and taking Herman and the bread out of his pocket, ‘You best be off home; it’s not safe around here.’_

_It was then that he thought he heard another faint squeaking noise coming from behind his bookcase in the corner._

‘What’s that?’ _he thought before Herman carried the bread over to and behind the bookcase, causing him to follow._

_‘So’, he said, ‘This is where you live?’_

_Herman nodded his head in response._

_Suddenly, as if on cue and much to Barrow’s surprise and shock, another rat came out of the hole in the wall._

_‘And who is this, might I add?’ he said before he noticed that this rat was slightly fatter than normal, ‘Oh…I see. No wonder you wanted to bring the bread up.’_

_The two rats emitted high-pitch squeaks before dining in on the bread._

_‘Just be sure to stay where no-one can see you, you two’, Barrow said, ‘Anyway, I’m off downstairs to see what’s happening in the shop.’_

**_Three months later…_ **

****

_Barrow was sitting at his desk when Herman came out from behind the bookcase with four smaller rats following him._

‘What the?’ _Barrow thought upon noticing them before saying, ‘So I was right then; you are a happy family.’_

_Suddenly, he heard angry-sounding footsteps outside in the hall._

_‘Quick!’ Barrow said, ‘Hide!’_

_In response, Herman and the other rats retreated behind the bookcase and into the hole just before the door opened._

_‘Oh, hey dad’, Barrow said, ‘How’s everything going?’_

_‘Shut up, fool!’ Samson said, ‘Where are they?’_

_‘Where are what?’ Barrow asked._

_‘Don’t play dumb, boy!’ Samson replied, ‘Have you not heard them at night these past few weeks?’_

_‘Honestly, I don’t know what you’re talking about’, Barrow said._

_‘Rats’, Samson said, ‘They must be in here somewhere.’_

_‘Well, I haven’t seen or heard any rats at all around here’, Barrow said, ‘You must be hearing things.’_

_Unfortunately, this caused Herman to squeak in shock, which in turn caused Samson to walk over to the bookcase to investigate._

_‘Dad, what are you doing?’ Barrow said before realising, No…please…’_

_‘Aha!’ Samson said upon noticing the small hole in the wall, ‘So… **this** is where they’re coming from, eh?’_

_Barrow swallowed nervously in response._

_‘Right then’, Samson said, ‘We’re going to put a stop to this once and for all; I’m not having my sleep disturbed any longer.’_

_‘Me neither’, Barrow said, even if it was a well-prepared lie, ‘So, what do you want me to do?’_

_‘In my bedroom, you’ll find a small, rectangular box’, Samson said, ‘I want you to go and bring it in for me.’_

_‘Ok’, Barrow said as he walked out into the hall.’_

_‘And remember, don’t open it!’ Samson said._

_‘I won’t’, Barrow said._

_However, just before returning to his bedroom, Barrow had a quick peek inside the box, only to be horrified by its contents._

‘No…’ _he thought upon seeing the wooden rat trap inside,_ ‘You can’t use this; it’s not right.’

_‘Ok, dad’, he said upon entering the room and giving Samson the box, ‘Here’s the box you wanted.’_

_‘Thanks’, Samson said before taking the contraption out, setting and placing it just outside the hole, ‘This ought to take care of our little problem.’_

_‘Yes’, Barrow said, ‘I’ll be able to hear if anything is caught during the night.’_

_However, Barrow had a plan regarding the trap and how to trick his father…_

_At 1:00 a.m. the following morning, Barrow put his plan into action._

‘This’ll trick him’ _, he thought as he took a hyper-realistic clockwork rat out of his drawer, placed it near the door facing the trap and wound it up before letting it go._

_SNAP!!_

‘Good’ _, Barrow thought upon walking over and seeing the clockwork rat stuck in the trap,_ ‘I’ve saved your life, Herman.’

_‘See?’ Barrow said the next morning when Samson picked the trap up, ‘I don’t think we’ll have any more issues now.’_

_‘Good’, Samson said before he walked downstairs and outside to dispose of the catch in the bin._

_‘Phew!’ Barrow said a few second later when he closed the door just as Herman and the other five rats emerged from the hole, ‘That was close; I’m going to take you to a safer place to live.’_

_He then picked Herman and the other rats up, put them into his pockets and headed downstairs._

_‘Ah’, he said upon arriving at the river before taking them out again and placing them on the ground, ‘You can go now.’_

_A few seconds later, they were off down the riverbank when Herman turned around and looked at Barrow as if to say “Thank you.”’_

_‘Goodbye’, Barrow said before going back home._

_However, his father was not impressed when he returned…_


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Graphic depiction of child abuse

**_February 18 th_ **

**_1907_ **

**_1:18 p.m._ **

_‘Thomas!’ his father said from downstairs after lunch that afternoon, ‘I’ve got something to tell you!’_

_‘Ok’, Barrow said while descending into the back room of the shop, ‘What do you want?’_

_It was then that Samson’s tone and expression turned cold and nasty._

_‘You know what, son?’ he said, ‘You’re not fit to be around here anymore.’_

_‘What are you talking about?’ Barrow asked._

_‘Ugh…you’re so stupid, aren’t you?’ Samson replied, ‘Just go up and pack your bags.’_

_‘What?’ Barrow asked._

_This was the point where things took a turn for the worst._

_‘Just do as **I** say, ok!?’ Samson shouted, ‘Now, GO UPSTAIRS AND START PACKING YOUR THINGS!!’_

_‘I can’t believe it’, Barrow said, ‘Are you throwing me out?’_

_‘Yes, you fool!’ Samson shouted, ‘I **can’t** have your sort around here, corrupting and tainting whoever you meet.’_

_‘What do you mean?’ Barrow asked._

_‘You **know** too damn well what I mean!’, Samson shouted, ‘You can’t help yourself, can you? I **know** what you’ve been up to these past years, including your trysts with young lads from around the neighbourhood; some of them being your own classmates!!’_

_‘Dad, I swear’, Barrow said, taken back by these accusations, ‘They were only helping me with my homework and all, I promise!’_

_Liar!!’ Samson screamed, ‘You’ve **dirtied** the family name for long enough with your **vileness** and **filth-soaked** personality!! **’**_

_‘Ok, ok’, Barrow sobbed, ‘I get it! I’ll go up and pack my things!’_

_‘Good’, Samson said, ‘And DON’T come back until you have!!’_

‘To hell with it!’ _Barrow thought as he angrily packed a large suitcase with clothes, books and other knick-knacks,_ ‘Dad’s right, I’m a useless, good-for-nothing…’

_Suddenly, the door burst open and hit the wall so hard that it left a deep indent._

_‘What’s all **this** , then!?’ Samson shouted when he saw the contents of the suitcase, ‘Books?’ You won’t have time for reading where you’re going!!’_

_It was then that Barrow said the unthinkable._

_‘I **hate** you’, he said directly at his father’s face, ‘You’ve **never** made me feel welcome here since I was born, and now you’re degrading and using derogatory slurs against me for being different?’_

_Saying this earned him a punch in the stomach._

_‘Listen here, little shit!!’ Samson shouted when he roughly shoved Barrow against the wall, ‘Either you get out **right now** , or I’ll call the police and tell them **everything** you’ve done in the past!! Do you know _how _they treat people like you?’_

_‘Ok, I’ll leave’, Barrow said, ‘Now, if you’ll please just open the door…’_

_‘Do it yourself, moron!’ Samson shouted, ‘I am **not** helping you anymore.’_

_‘Well then’, Barrow said, ‘Looks like I’ll stay here then if that’s the case.’_

_‘Oh, and did I remind you?’ Samson said, ‘I’ve heard that prison is **far worse** for your sort…”_

_‘Fine’, a fearful Barrow said as he picked his suitcase up off the bed and opened the door, ‘I’m leaving.’_

_‘Good’, Samson said, ‘Because I don’t want to see your face ‘round here anymore. NOW, GET OUT!!!’_

_However, when he opened the back door downstairs, he saw his mother standing at the gate while holding a suitcase as well._

_‘Mum?’ Barrow asked, ‘What are you doing here?’_

_‘I’ve decided to move away as well’, Sharlene said, ‘I just can’t bear living with your father anymore.’_


End file.
